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YEAH FUCK THAT CENTIPEDE IT CANNOT COMPETE WITH YOUR FLAWLESSNESS AND IT IS PROBABLY SOBBING AS IT MAKES IT WAY OUT INTO THE NIGHT BECAUSE IT CAN NEVER BE LIKE YOU

NO THE FUCK IT CANNOT. I’VE KILLED MANY A CENTIPEDE IN MY DAY. IT BETTER GTFO MY HOUSE

YES OF COURSE THEY ARE YOU ARE FLAWLESS JUST IN GENERAL OKAY

THANK YOU THESE ARE GOOD THINGS TO HEAR WHEN BEING TERRORIZED BY A CENTIPEDE

thelesbianguide:

For all of you heading off to your first day of school don’t forget your

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(via dern-dvde)

NO NO NO I DO NOT LIKE TO SEE YOU CRY UNLESS IT IS TEARS OF JOY OR YOU HAVE BEEN LAUGHING SO HARD THAT TEARS COME OUT OF YOUR FLAWLESS EYES THAT IS HOW I LIKE TO SEE YOUR TEARS NOT TEARS FROM BUGS

YES GOOD YES NO SAD TEARS ONLY GOOD ONES
wow *cries bc i never thought my eyes were flawless*

I totally feel your feels, bugs are out to destroy everything and i do not trust any of them

NEVER TRUST BUGS
THEY ALL WANT THE SAME THING
TO MAKE ME CRY
AND IF YOU TRUST BUGS
THEN YOU LIKE TO SEE ME CRY
AND THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT

yeah the police actually do suck a lot so I’m sending over dragons instead

yes this is much more helpful maybe they can just burn down the house like i failed to do already bc the clock is tickin and this bug is going to ruin my life

Thank you for the 411. I am now sending over all police

I really hope they can do their jobs bc they’ve been pretty unreliable for the past like hundred years or so

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wtf is even going on with this centipede situation, I am so concerned, this shit is getting so real

ok well here’s the scoop
chillin in living room watchin full house, distracted by fic
bug (allegedly a centipede, could be spider) zooms from under couch to underneath the tv stand/case thing
panic
obtains broom
bug not found. seems to still be in hiding.
calls for mom
mom useless in my time of need.
mom also attempts to take my tablet pen
relocates upstairs to bedroom
wonders if destroying all centipedes could basically rid the world of shitty people.

what if i go to bed early i wont have to see it crawl into my room and make a mockery of me as i cry about its existence and it will just leave bc i wont be crying and staring at it i’ll just be sleeping what if

what if all centipedes died and made an imbalance to the world but instead of fracking up food chains and shit it just made racist, misogynists, queerphobic people, and ableists 100000000000000 times weaker at arguing and proving points and were made into laughing stocks what if 

*relocates to bedroom*